Maranattaivida kodiyathu marakkapaduvatha?!

There was a movie- Kandukondain Kandukondain when i first heard this saying... i was pretty young at the point of time to realize what it actually means - "Maranattaivida kodiyathu marakkapaduvathu." which translates to - The worst thing that can happen than death is being forgetten.

Daily events that happen to most of us - people approach us to seek help and soon forget us after that. How severe the pain depends on how "involved" we were during the time of providing the requested help. But then , does that stop us from helping others? No. Maybe that is why, the saying goes as -  even the death happens only once and thats it. But the pain that occurs repetitively by those who seems to immediately forget us after their request taken care of is not light one.

How do we judge - if this person going to have amnesia in even to  recall our name or to put a courtesty smile? I dont think anyone can judge any book by it's cover unless we already have the same experience with the same person before. Then, why do we get involved once more?

 

Thaanatthil Sirantha Thaanam...

Why do elderly people always refer - to Annathaanam as Thaanatthil Sirantha Thaanam?

The answer is very simple. The purpose one wants to do thaanam is to fulfill his/her own inner satisfaction. But how do the donor knows that the donation has satisfied the receiving party? How much can be measured as enough?

As a human being, it is very hard to satisfy the need. The more you get, the more you want. Heart will never say enough. Be it money, clothes or even love. You will still crave  for more. That is the nature of human being.

But the only thing that one will say enough - is when the stomach is full. One can never eat more than what he can and eventually he will say enough. The moment he say enough- means he is satisfied that his hunger has been addressed.  this is when the donor knows that he has donated until  the receiver said - enough. That will definitely invokes the satisfaction.

Another ultimate reason is, the objective of survival is eventually is to earn food. Every soul in this world is search for food for survival. And failure of getting food to eat is not a convenient truth.

Simply..some current thoughts..

Hello dear friends..:)

Stress has taken toll with lots of work load. So, you may find me very slow in posting new posts. Living life as how it  flows will eventually reduce some level of stress at least. Especially when you know , no point of fighting the odds. Sometimes,we find the challenge is to get things done when we have doubts of it. And at the point of completion, we cherish the success..and the struggles that we made through would have prepared us for the next challenge.. and life goes on. We tend not to appreciate things if we get it the easy way. the more struggle you manage through, the more you appreciate the outcome.

I have been put through of a lot of processes and many times, i wondered why.. the actual stress-less work become stressful due to the additional processes. But if you think it through, the processes is actually developing a quality result than focusing on quantity. I really hope, that the quantity that is expected is reduced so that we can focus on the quality. No point talking  about the quality when you have so much to deliver and the dates are not compromised. Remember, we are human too. The challenge is to cross this through and pick up all those stuff the you learn along the way to make you better person. So,i'm starting to reduce my complaints- why this and why that. Maybe i should make a motto of 2011 on that too.

I have this manager of mine , who never take things or should say see things in negative manner. She see it positively, what value does it bring to us and how it make a better 'us'. If i minus off the stress part, she is correct.. many things happen to make us a better person. It is just the timing and how do we cope.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and the year end seasonal mood starts. Let's welcome the new year in happy mood.. and hopefully stress-less mood.

Ho ! Ho ! Ho!

Virunthombal

Virunthombal is one of the athigaaram under Aram in the great sage Valluvan‘s Thirukural. Two of the kurals that have my attention this time in this athigaaram 9 is as follows:

Kural 89

Udaimaiyul inmai virunthombal oamba
Madamai madavaarkan undu

Exp: selvanilayil ulla varumai enbathu, virumthombalai poatraathe ariyaamaiyaagum. Athu arivilligalidam ullathaagam

Even the host is a rich person, a guest will find them poor when the host does not know how to serve their guest. Even there are 101 food items that being offered to the guest, having a host who doesn’t know how to serve is equivalent to no dish at all. Valluvar says that you will find this quality of those who are illiterate.

A happy guest will find it so fulfilling to even drink just a glass of plain water when the host serve the drink with love and happy face.

Kural 90

Moapak kulaiyum anicham mugarnthirundhu
Nokak kulaiyum virunthu

Exp: anicham poo mogarthavudan vaadividum;athupol mugam malaraamal vaerupattu nokkiyavudan vurunthinar vaadi nirpar

Most of us from Tamil medium would have learned this kural during school time. Guest will feel sad when they are hosted without happiness in their face by the host.

We understand that time and effort is a concern when every one of us is working and trying to juggle with our day to day life. However, we have our own culture and ethics that needs to be maintained. When we are throwing a party/event at home, it is important that we do everything we can to entertain and serve our guest the best possible. It doesn’t have to be a lavish food or costly environment. The only concern that mattered most is how a guest being served. I am afraid we focus too much on the arrangement until the guest being neglected or left alone to entertain themselves.

Naan Padithathil....

Books has been my companion mostly when i travel and during waiting time. There were time when i even don't lift my eye to other direction for the whole journey of 1 hour plus in the bus. There were also a craze when i don't even waste my time when stop for traffic light or stuck in a long jam to pay toll. My interest was mostly on novels for entertainment purpose previously but i picked up this habit of reading for information. Any source of information which can benefit my knowledge will be kept carefully until i fully read and understand / digest the content. You may see that one of the must buy items in the list when we travel is book and must visit place is a bookshop.

Recently, I received a gift of  home-guide book set which i feel so lucky to have those books in my collection. Since very busy with festival prep, i managed to check out only one of the book ( i have not finish reading it still )and i thought i must share this with you. The reason is , if you happen to come across this book, you might consider buying it...worse come worse if not for you , it will be a good basic guide for ur gal. i think it may also be a good gift for newly married woman.

This book was published by Australian Women Weekly and it has A--Z everything that a person should know about household. From the type of knife that you shud buy to the type of oils and their use to how to cut a meat and what are those spices  and how to keep ur fridge or clean the stains...everything is laid down in the book. Maybe i will share some info in near future for the reading benefit.

R.E.A.L Gift

Years are passing and more grey hairs remind us how was the childhood life ,student life, college life and so on. But the significant drastic change feeling comes when you always want to recall how differently things were done when you were younger when you see another child doing the same thing now. How different was parenting back then compared to today's parenting and how different childhood back then.

No comments on how technology has influenced the change, it will be a never-ending-story. You cant stop how things are being done now because the methodology has changed. At the age of 3, i barely knew an alphabet, maybe just know how to shake to my favourite music. But nowadays, at the same age 3, a child can start do basic mathematics! The comparison could do good and means the same if you compare your generation with the earlier one.

Talking on the same gap, there are things that nowadays we see  common among young parents. I have read recently, that today's parents try to buy their children happiness with "expensive" gifts. This is in a way, is a token for the time that the parents can't spare with their children. It's already too frequent nowadays, media highlighting this as a spreading attitude that might not show healthy sign. A common view at houses, toys are scattered everywhere , which every generation had experienced anyway!. Observing closely, each toys, are not cheap ones that you may find in any toy stores. Expensive ones, some even tagged with original branding, which could have cost the parents RM 100 or more.

The point is, why are we being ignorant on the expenditure and be blinded with these kind of expenses when we are aware that children cant understand the actual worth of the gifts? Why we keep buying things with so much of value when we know that the next day, each part of the toys, might have been resembled?

What are we trying to achieve by doing this? The children are being pampered the way they wanted, presented with all kind of gifts that they insisted. No, giving excuse that they are being adamant of wanting the toy will not work. We could have been the same adamant kid years back. But our parents were able to say a big NO to us, which make us to be persistent on achieving our goal by saving our own money to buy it if we REALLY want the toy. The case is totally different now. We are teaching our kids that they can get what they want by being adamant. The appreciation value for the gifts have dropped down the lane. No matter how much money you spend for that, from the child's point of view, its just a number and paper that being offered to the sales person in return for the toy. is this how we want our child to grow without knowing how much you have suffered, mentally or physically just for the same note.

We are training our children to accept no NO . And even if they get that answer surprisingly in one fine day, they will know what to do to make the NO to YES.

Please be awake. We are not preparing our children to face the worst in future , if anything happens, but we are spoiling our children . Yes, at this age, they might not understand the worth of money, but at this same age, their brain is being trained on thinking and being shaped on the personality. We need to mould a kind and considerate child , not an adamant and spoiled kid.

We are being exposed to so many thing now compared to last time. We have all the facility to make a difference to the world. We have to to shape our child to use their REAL gift from GOD. They are gifted with a healthy 6 sense , then teach them how they can be considerate to down syndrome children. They are gifted to see , to hear, to speak, to feel , then make them to make see how their peers are suffering on the other part of the world , make our kid to talk about sympathy, do thinking how they can help those suffering the plight.

Yes, our kids might be young for all these, but they are not. We are sending our kids to Kumon at this same age. When we teach them to be adamant, we also can teach them to be kind. The same RM100 can be helpful to somebody suffering in nature disaster or  buy good food for other kids who are suffering in hunger. Imagine a 100 dollar note that lying as a resembled toy in your living room and the same 100 is feeding a hungry child.  Please train our child to see the world as how the world is then to compare themselves with their peers attending English reading class or Arts class. Get them to do a simple charity with some portion of their allocated gift money. Bring them the satisfaction of doing this, so that they will start doing it without you asking them to do.

Being said so, i am not a supporter of those who cut their birthday cake at welfare home. We shouldn't be there to show that we are fortunate to celebrate our birthday with loved ones , and you choose to doing it together with  less fortunate ones. Please do not carry do this. Children with special needs, will be happy that someone choose to share their happiness with them but at the same, you are doing more hurt to the child's heart, to wonder "why them"?

I have write long enough. It's keep playing in mind, why we are so blind. I noticed so many incidents at Deepavali shopping spree and cant stop relating how can the same "unnecessary" shopping money can be helpful to those in need. Right at this point of time , there could be many kids, dying due to hunger,  or being a child labour at the same factory that we buying fire crackers.

Let us teach our children to share their gift - the Real GIFT that GOD has presented them..

My two cents!

Bes days of the week

Excerpt from : http://www.thesun.co.uk/  
By KATE WIGHTON  on 14th October 2010.

Tuesday ... the most popular day to have a baby - but Saturdays are best if you want your child to be a winner..
BLUE Monday? Nah, Tuesday is when we're most likely to feel down in the dumps, according to latest research from the London School of Economics.

But whatever day it is, there's always something we can do to get the most out of life -KATE WIGHTON reports.

MONDAY

Best for de-stressing: Find time to chill out, advises a study in the British Medical Journal. It says you are 20 per cent more likely to die of a heart attack on a Monday due to the fall-out from weekend alcohol bingeing and the stress of returning to work.

Best for staying put: Avoid the stress of blaring horns and traffic jams by working from home. The AA says their busiest time on the roads is from 8am to 10am on Mondays when cars won't start because of flat batteries after they've been left standing over the weekend.

Rubbish for starting a diet: A third of people who begin to cut calories on a Monday have given it up by Tuesday evening, according to a Yahoo poll.


TUESDAY

Best for nailing that to-do list: We're most productive, on this day, with almost a quarter of UK executives polled by Gallup saying it's the day to get things done. A huge 39 per cent said Monday was their least productive day.

A separate study by the US Society for Industrial and Organisational Psychology says our rational "left" brain dominates thinking early in the week and is better for routine, mundane jobs.


WEDNESDAY

Best for looking for love: This day is ideal for a first date, say more than 40 per cent of 8,000 singletons polled. If it goes well you get a handy day's breathing space before the follow-on Friday date. And if it doesn't work out, you can arrange to see friends at the weekend and not dwell on your disaster.

Asking for a raise: Bosses are most receptive to requests for pay rises on Wednesdays, a survey of more than 1,500 UK top brass shows. On Mondays, they're too busy prepping for the week ahead and dealing with emails from the weekend. And by Thursday and Friday, they're thinking about the weekend and more likely to turn down requests.


THURSDAY

Best for hospital stays: Check in on a Thursday and you're more likely to be forced to stay longer - a full 24 hours more than patients admitted on a Sunday - according to a study by the Institute for Public Policy Research. Patients admitted on a Thursday stay 6.3 days on average, compared with 5.3 on a Sunday.


FRIDAY

Best for quitting smoking: Stub out the fags on this day and you can survive the temptations of the weekend, US researchers found. This is because the first few days are when your willpower is at its strongest.

Rubbish for making big decisions: We're more likely to be sleep-starved at the end of the working week and less able to think clearly, according to body clock expert Martin Moore-Ede. And while investors play safe earlier on, they're statistically more likely to take risks on a Friday to hit their end-week targets, say economists from Emporia State University in Kansas.


SATURDAY

Best for staying sober: There are almost 70 per cent more admissions to hospital on this day due to alcohol abuse compared to the daily average, according to the British Medical Journal.

Best for having a baby: While Tuesdays are the most popular day to have babies, the Office for National Statistics shows, Saturdays are best if you want your child to be a winner.

According to the ONS, children born on this day have a better chance of becoming Prime Minister - of 21 PMs since 1900, six have been born on a Saturday.

SUNDAY

Best for eating out: Preparing a traditional Sunday roast is more stressful than going to the dentist, according to one in five people surveyed. So take the load off and treat you and yours - meaning someone else can deal with the washing up.

Best for making virtual contact: If you want someone to actually read your personal - not work - emails, send them on Sundays, say web research company eMarketer.

Their research shows that "open" and "click" rates for emails sent then are higher than any other day, with just over 30 per cent of recipients opening their emails instantly.

The worst day is Wednesday, with an open rate of just 23 per cent.